MY STORY
Until I became a mother at the age of 36, my life revolved almost entirely around my work and some deeply ingrained, out-of-whack notion of success. I had moved to Barcelona when I was 25 and scraped together the money to found a magazine. This turned into a 20-year endeavour that brought me both immeasurable joy and satisfaction and—as could only be the case for a workaholic perfectionist—immeasurable stress and anxiety.
I left the magazine when my eldest child was 12. I was burned out, sad and relieved. I recently read that burnout is not the result of giving too much, but the result of trying to give what you no longer have. Wise words. By then I had also acquired three powerful birth stories, become a Hypnobirthing practitioner, attended trainings with Michel Odent and Ina May Gaskin, become a regular at the local Zen dojo, embraced neurodiversity and family life and undertaken several mindfulness trainings.
Mainstream school had never felt like a good fit, so our oldest two children had been attending an alternative school for several years. At around the same time as my business ended, their time in this school felt like it had come to an end for many reasons, and we took them out with the intention of finding somewhere else for them to go. In the meantime, we moved from the little town we lived in up to an old house in the hills. As I let go and began to heal from my 20 years of striving, my children got on with the things that were interesting to them. I was amazed every day by the natural learning that was unfolding and also by how hard it was for me not to want to be in charge of their learning. So many things made me anxious, from how they would learn maths and biology, to friendships and what the future held.
We lived in this house for almost two years and, without the outside world dictating our days, I allowed the slow process of unravelling to gather speed. And as I healed and let go, I was able to see my children more clearly. Not for who they were supposed to be or who I needed them to be, but for who they were. Their capacity for curiosity and learning was immense and I was frequently blown away by the depths of their conversations and the things they shared with me. By then, I had also come across the term 'unschooling' and had read everything I could get my hands on. My trust and confidence grew stronger by the day and, in 2018, I began my blog, A Place on a Hill, to help me digest and share everything I was observing and learning.
In 2020, my family and I moved to East Sussex in the UK. I continued in my studies of mindfulness and became a mindfulness teacher. Although my own background means that neurodiversity and self-directed education have often been the focus of my work, I love to work with any parents who recognise that there is a happier, healthier way to live in relationship with their children. Using mindfulness, reflection and exploration, I help them move beyond reactive responses and old paradigms that keep everyone in joyless, limiting patterns. As they grow in their capacity to hold space without control or fear, they discover less stress and conflict—and far more connection, joy, and meaningful learning.
You can browse A Place on a Hill or come find me now on Substack
